Dear Romance Gods

What crazy place you have brought me. A woman who cares so much for love to have such tumultuous affairs. It's crazy to think that I ever expected this to be easy! What part of love is simple. Hasn't it created a million or trillion lifetimes of literature, film, plays, psychosis, art, countries falling apart, law, jobs for people like furniture salesman and lingerie. Lube and de-lube medication. Why did I think that my analytical mind could put my love life into a box and compartmentalize all my future interactions, moments, and emotions? What part of Romeo and Juliet did you think was beautiful. It was a tragedy. Nicholas Sparks can't even paint us a perfect picture of love, despite all his southern idealism. We all know that with a hooked attraction to something that we will be lead down a doomed road to a potentially fatal misunderstanding and disappointing reappearance of our childhood friend "agony". Again the self-pity convinces us that we are somehow flawed in our intuition, or being punished for bad romance karma. You know, it's like we asked for this seeming injustice by our misinterpretation of the Secret. We failed at thinking positively, probably because of the seven-thousand previous failures. It's probably something wrong with our core belief systems. This must be a past-life problem, yes. Or a residual mission unrealized by our childhood dramas, or my mother's love story "take 2." Angel therapy, cord-cutting, rituals, and wine. Life-coaching, pyscho-analyzation, dream interpretation. Establish self-worth, learn boundaries, devotion to a higher power. What brings us closer to believing that we can be flawless in love is the same very poison that allows bigger shock of failure. Confusion makes us study our life patterns and we again go at it from different angle. And then, we are shocked when we fall in love and nothing goes wrong. There must be something wrong. And then you get a horrible disease that takes over the rest of your life and love is not the drama anymore. Welcome to Earth.

failure unawares

The world has a plan for me that is beyond my understanding

It has given me a roadmap to both love and tragedy

Bliss is not the purpose for our lifetime

Pain is not something we can avoid

The angels told me to listen to them

I took their cues and followed their signs

Magic was enticing me

And magic brought me down

How hard do we need to pound this gold

Am I not shiny enough

Let this cycle be done with already

I am over your lessons